I thought that maybe the level of feeling that I felt last time would never happen again. Like maybe that's something that only happens when you're really young. I think I was wrong.
I can't explain what I feel for you. It's different than any way I've ever felt before. I've had really deep loves. But I still knew those people weren't right for me, and that knowledge kind of tempered things, somehow. Any time they let me down and I felt the pain of that love, I knew. Any time I looked at who they were as a person and knew in my heart that I would never be happy with them I felt the pain from my love. You're the first. I'm not saying that you'll never do anything to hurt or disappoint me. That's too much to expect from anyone. What I mean is that my love for you itself doesn't hurt me.
Even when I felt the deepest love for someone in the past, that love itself was painful because I knew it wouldn't last. I knew it wasn't someone I could stay with if I wanted to live a happy life.
You're the first and only person that I've felt this way about. My love doesn't hurt me. Because you're everything. You're it. You're what I want. And maybe it won't work out. It might not. But at least I'm not staring at the finish line before I've even reached the halfway mark. I'm confident about you. I could be happy with you. I could live a joyful life and never feel like I'd settled or was missing out. You're someone that I'm proud of. You're kind, and intelligent, and motivated, and selfless, you're fun and thoughtful and adventurous. I would not look back and regret having chosen you. I know that in my bones. I never even realized how every love I've ever had has been tinged with sadness until now, because this one isn't.
It amazes me how happy I am, and how peaceful I feel. Just laying in your bed and breathing in the smell of your pillow is enough to make the world feel perfect. Nothing feels like heaven more than laying against you with our bare skin pressed together. I love the way you purr. That sound literally makes my chest constrict until it hurts. It makes my brain and my heart just go... "protectlovekeepholdcherishcomfort" . There are times when I'm holding you and I squeeze as tight as I can and I just want to get closer even though I've squeezed all the space out from between us and there's nowhere closer to go. I guess that the only place closer than against my skin is under it, and you've definitely done that.
I could list a million little things that you make me feel, but in the end it's just you. You're everything. You're the love of my life.
