The first time I saw you, it felt warm. Something about you seemed so good, and so open, and when you smiled I didn't smile back to be polite. I smiled because it seemed like a really natural thing to do around you.
You'll be gone in a week or so and I won't be seeing you anymore. That makes me feel sad. I wish I could tell you how I feel but I can't, because you have someone.
I couldn't tell you before you found someone, even aside from the fact that I had an off and on thing with someone else, because I didn't want to make things weird. We saw each other at school almost every day and shared the same friends, and if you didn't see me that way it would have made things really uncomfortable. I didn't want to put myself or you in that position. But I always thought, maybe, maybe right before you leave I can tell you. That way, even if you're not even remotely interested, at least I'd have gotten it off my chest.
But now you're with someone and I can't tell you.
I feel just kind of glum and melancholy about it. It doesn't make me feel happy when I see you anymore because you're kind of already gone. I really wish I could have told you.
I'll miss you. I'll be fine, I know. But it's just kind of bumming me out.
So many times I've been near you and just been focused on hiding it, covering it up, making sure noone could tell. I did a damn good job of that, clearly. Way to go, me.
Daydreams won't help me. I've got to just deal with it. Not every 'what if' gets an answer.
