Without

Love is silly. It's all just totally silly. I'm so much happier without you. You hold me back. I'm so much happier when I can just blossom and meet people and not have to worry, worry about so many things. You make life way more complicated and difficult, and you hurt my feelings, and you stress me out. And it's silly. I'm so much happier without you.

But still, all I want is to lay with you, to kiss your lips, forehead to forehead and chest to chest, to feel your heart beating, to feel the way mine starts to beat to your rhythm, or yours to mine, or both at once. Who can say. To cup your face in my hands and feel the way you feel against me, part of me, to slide one hand to the back of your head and hold you gently, close to me. The other, to run my thumb as soft as a butterfly wing across your bottom lip. Wonder that it's there. Kiss it. Then kiss it again. Feel like I belong somewhere. Feel like that place that I belong is you. And I'm finally starting to realize that that was only ever me. You never felt that in return. And that's why it hurts so much, but that's why it's easier to let go.

I'm happier without you.