I am literally breaking down right now and the only one I want to see is you.
I want to go to my best friend and just crumple and cry my heart out because I'm never going to see the man I love again.
But I can't do that. Because they're the same person.
I can't tell you how hurt I am. I can't tell you how I feel. I got used to talking about how I feel with you. And now, there's nowhere to put the words. I just need to talk to you so badly and I can't anymore. You disappeared so suddenly. It's like you never even existed. It's like you never cared at all. Not even a little.
You promised me. You stupid fucking fucker, you PROMISED ME. AND I FUCKING BELIEVED YOU. I FUCKING BELIEVED EVERY WORD. I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE PEOPLE AND I BELIEVED EVERY GODDAMN WORD YOU SAID TO ME. I don't know why. I don't know why you were different like that. But you were. You said "the only way you're going to get rid of me is if you force me out of your life."
And I'm fucking breaking down right now. I need you so badly right now. I need my Ben. I need my friend. I fucking need you to be here for me right now. I never fucking ask you for anything. I do everything I can think of for you, and I never fucking ask you for anything. I need you to fucking be here for me right now. I'm breaking the fuck down. You promised. You fucking promised. You promised. But you're still gone.
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