The List You Swallowed

You called me. I let it go to voicemail, again. You said "I just want to see you." You said "I feel like all the love I've felt for you, shown and unshown, now means nothing to you." You said "I just need to know that you recognize how much I love you." You said "I want to give you space to be angry and to feel betrayed. I want to see you and to just listen to your feelings without giving any justifications for my actions, this time." The thing is, is that you already said all those justifications. And you meant them. You're sorry I'm hurt but you're not sorry for what you did. You're just biting your tongue, hoping it'll make everything okay again.