I need to make a list of tangible reasons why I resent you. There are a lot of reasons I resent you right now. I need to try to flesh them out so I can address it.
1. You owe me $13,000. You focus on paying back everyone else. Oh I gave Jason this, oh I gave Joe this, oh I gave so and so, such and such. It's like instead of being first, I'm the last on your list. I'm BROKE right now, because I gave you all my money. I'm pinching pennies. I can't buy that piano I want to play. And I'm the last on the list.
2. This means, effectively, I'M the one who pays the rent. I'M the one who bought the furniture. You say 'Ill pay you back,' but you HAVEN'T paid me back. That's my money until you pay me back. I pay for everything, and you strut around to your friends, with 'look at my nice house' 'look at my nice furniture' 'look how I'm the man.' When really, I'M the man. Not you. I'M the one who found, and picked up and loaded up, and unloaded, and set up, EVERY piece of furniture in that house. EVERY painting. If I hadn't been here, you'd be living in a huge ass empty house with two camping chairs in the living room. You took everything I had and then bragged about how great you were to everyone who would listen.
3. Which leads me to, you don't appreciate me. You don't see how much I do. If I left today, if I took my belongings, MY furniture, my stuff, and I took off. Who would cook? Who would buy hand soap, and laundry and dish soap? Who would buy shampoo? Who would grocery shop? Who would buy cleaning supplies? Who would fold and put away the laundry? Who would vacuum, and mop the floor, and wipe down the counters? Nobody. I do everything. You literally have lived here for 4-5 months, and for the first time I asked you to clean the house. Because I was cooking for all your friends and couldn't do it myself. And you asked where the vacuum was. I told you it's where it always is. And you still didn't know. Because in 5 months you have never taken it upon yourself to vacuum. Not once.
4. This is an anecdote but it just sums up everything. You said two nights ago that you wanted a desk/office. I searched online, found a desk you might like, confirmed you'd like it. I then got up early, drove to Washington from basically northern california, got the desk, bought ratchets because I asked you to pack them the night before and you forgot. Loaded it up, drove back. This was a 15 hour day for me. I did that, for you. And I asked for one thing. I said, can you take the trash out. I had already put all the garbage in the trash can. I simply asked you to roll it from the house to the curb. And I get home at 1:30am after driving for 15 hours. The garbage can was sitting there up against the house. I do everything for you and you can't even take 3 minutes to take out the trash. Not even for me, but for us. Half that trash is yours. Not only are you not capable of going 3 minutes out of your way for me alone, you won't even do the most basic thing that's your part.
5. I know you're going through a lot but you're perfectly happy to sit around feeling sorry for yourself and playing league all day while I flounder, while I have no money because you took it and won't make any moves to get it back. You don't even care. You have no problem falling apart like a child while I try so hard to hold down everything and you don't see it and it doesn't even matter to you.
6. This isn't your fault. This is just a major problem that I don't know what to do about. When I get a job what am I going to do? If I'm doing software engineering for a major company and I'm trying to do my job and take calls and be in meetings, and you're just downstairs drunk in the middle of the day with drug dealers being super loud. Like how is that going to work? I really feel like this is dragging me down. I'd have had a job months ago if I wasn't with you. I'm not blaming you but I know that that is a fact. I'm tired. You're making me tired and you're making me old, and you used to do the opposite. You used to make me feel alive and young and like anything was possible, and now I feel like a 50 year old single mom with a lazy ass teenager who secretly wishes she'd just been the cool wine aunt and never had kids.
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